So, this is me. This picture was taken in February of 2015 and this is the heaviest I have ever weighed! I know I should be honest and say my weight, but frankly I am ashamed of how I allowed myself to be controlled by what I put in my mouth. I had/have no self-control when it comes to food. If I want it, I eat it and throw caution to the wind. I mean, I shouldn’t let my weight define me. I’m a beautiful person. I’m God-loving, caring, funny, happy, faithful, good mom, good teacher, good friend. But I have a secret…I feel like crap. Every flipping joint hurts, muscles ache, I can’t sleep worth a damn, when I shift positions in bed I’m positive I look like a floundering whale…not a pretty sight.
I’ve been through weight loss attempts in the past, and I have been successful. My most successful attempt was a whopping 60 pound loss that resulted in me running (yes, I said running) in a 5K race. If I ran today, well forget it…there is no way I would be running now!!! I think where I lost success with my initial attempts is my complacency. I quit working at it. I quit weighing and measuring my food portions because I’m really good at eye-balling my portions now!!! Well, for some strange reason, my portion sizes grew and grew and before I knew it the weight would creep back on. It was a slow process. I didn’t wake up one morning and was suddenly 60 pounds heavier. Gaining the weight back took almost as much time as losing it!!!
One thing I did not do during my earlier weight loss attempts is not document my journey. Initially, I kept it pretty quiet, only letting close friends and select family in. I’m not sure why, I just didn’t. So…I thought I might begin to document this time. Share my successes and failures with the world. I can honestly tell you that I’m terrified. I’m scared to let the world in, but maybe some hard honesty with myself is a key to a lasting success.
So, here’s my brutal honesty. Shortly after I took that picture, I weighed myself. I really, really don’t want to share that wretched number with the world but I believe I need to. That picture above weighed me in at 265 pounds. 35 pounds shy of breaking 300!!! I am carrying the equivalent of another human being around with me!!! No wonder everything aches. No wonder my heart races when I climb the stairs…No. Wonder.
Four weeks back into tracking everything, weighing everything, making better dining out decisions, screwing up (sometimes that french fry, cookie, BBQ just sounded so good), exercising again has paid off…here I am now. 12.4 pounds lighter!!! I am basically not carrying around a ten pound bag of potatoes and 8 sticks of butter!
Not only do I feel a difference (I can walk up stairs without being winded), my feet do not scream at the end of the day, and I can shift positions in bed a lot easier…I can see the difference too!!! I’m proud of myself for what I’ve accomplished so far. But I think I’m more proud of myself for putting myself out for the world to see.
Until next time!!! 🙂